You know you’re old when ….

Do I really want to play this game?

Sigh. Yeah.

Once upon a time, I bought a really cute sweater. I mean, really cute. It was the style of the day and it made everyone happy when I wore it. Especially me.

It was a Christmas tunic sweater. Brooke and I bought this sweater while we were shopping together November in 1989. I think it might have been from Penney’s or maybe Weinstocks. I can’t exactly remember. But I’m sure it was in the Ogden Mall.

It was no ordinary Christmas sweater; this one had LIGHTS! Green lights on the words to make sure the viewer KNEW that I was wishing them a very Happy Holiday and a red light on dear, dear Rudolph’s nose. I wore it for many Christmas parties and office parties. It also had gigantic shoulder pads. Huge. I would wear it with red stirrups and flats. Or black stirrups. As I said, it was a tunic so fairly long on me.

Fast forward ….. 22 years.

Yes, I have actually KEPT this sweater in pristine condition for 22 years, thinking that what? That I might wear it again? I have to think that’s why I did it.  If you look really closely, you can see on Santa’s sleigh, the year 1989. It’s on the yellow sign. I purposely bought this particular sweater because of that; I always wanted to remember the year which I bought this gem.

It’s kind of hard to catch the blinking at the right moment when all the lights are on at the same time. I was hoping to get Rudolph’s nose when it was lit.

SO …. the other day, Angie is mentioning that she and Jen are going to a Christmas party and I vaguely heard something about sweaters. I happily said that I had a light up sweater she could wear. She was so happy and in my ancient mind, thought she was excited to wear a lighted sweater. She then said, “Great! We’re having an UGLY CHRISTMAS SWEATER PARTY AND THAT WILL BE PERFECT.”

Que? Huh? Did I hear right?? My lovely candy-stripe, lighted sweater was to be the guest of honor at Dinner for Schmucks?  I, of course, played along because I certainly didn’t want them to think that I held a candle for my little Christmas sweater.

I came home and was lamenting to Felix about my sweater and she jumped up and said, “Terrific! We’re having UGLY CHRISTMAS SWEATER DAY AT SCHOOL ON THURSDAY. Can I wear your sweater?”

What the hell? Is this some craze that’s sweeping the nation? One that I haven’t heard of at all?

And so, being the kind of person that has finally thrown away my needle-point cat vest and my Hyper-color tee shirt, I have come to the realization that I will never in innocence, wear my lighted Christmas sweater again. It will now be offered up for gleeful laughter while reminiscing the awful styles of the 80’s.

But I will NEVER EVER wear stirrups with flats again. You can put your money on that one.