Friday, October 28, 2011

Halloween 2011

Here it is again. Man, that year went REALLY fast. It seems like I was just writing about last year’s Halloween. Crikey.

And here are the decided costumes for this year:

Robee is The Joker and Felix is a Forest Fairie.

Felix vacillated between a 50’s vampire and something else that I can’t remember but then came up with the Forest Fairie. We had to figure out a way for her to sit in the car with those funky wings. Ugh. Her make-up was an experiment that turned out quite well. Especially those vine-y things running down her arms. I wasn’t sure about those.

Robee somehow found a purple blazer and purple pants that fit him (with just a small adjustment from the sewing machine). Then one day later, I found the orange shirt and he has a green tie (I have no idea why; another thrift store purchase). The make-up was a blast to do.

Again I say unto you, having done theater for about 15 years certainly has paid off. I love doing their make-up for things like this and I LOVE that they LOVE it too. Makes it all worthwhile.

All costumes came from the thrift store. I love the thrift stores out here. For some reason, they’re not the same as the Deseret Industries in Utah. I think they have one of those here but it’s clear in BFE (or Bellevue which I refuse to drive to on any given day), so forget it. The Goodwill and Value Village are such great stores plus all the smaller, independent thrifts as well. Typically we hit Value Village; Felix thinks that store is cleaner and more organized.

Then there is me. Yeah. I didn’t do anything this year. I didn’t even decorate. I feel awful about it. I don’t think I ever NOT decorated for Halloween. Christmas, yes. But Halloween? Unthinkable.

Yet here I sit at ….. midnight ….. with all my decor still in a box in the garage. I have no costume for me. No lights up. No skeletons on the door. No pumpkins carved. Nothing. Nada. Zip. I can’t seem to muster the … whatever … to get it going. I guess I can pull the “I just had surgery” card, but I feel that excuse is wearing a tad thin. Sadly, I really don’t feel ready to drag out a bunch of stuff just to put it away next week. I’m not feeling its because I’m sick of celebrating; I really don’t feel like going there. I’m hoping that it really is because I’m still getting back to “normal” … whatever that is … and I’ll feel better come Thanksgiving and Christmas. If I’m stressed now about decorating, I’ll really be a mess for those holidays since I’m stressed about them on a normal year.

Luckily I have very nice, thoughtful kids who do not pressure me or whine about the decor this year (at least not to my face which is probably wise). I appreciate their consideration. I know they notice the lack of decorations and miss it but we did get the fantastic costumes together and that I think, will hold them for this year.

Well, the insomnia isn’t going away so I’ll do something else to try to go to sleep rather than read about my own boring life.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

October …. rhymes with nothing.

As was stated in several posts, my lovely surgery was the 4th of October. I’m now in the beginning of my third week of recuperation. Saw the doc on Monday and she said every thing looks great. She did warn me however (again) that just because I feel great doesn’t mean I can go run a marathon; I still have four weeks of easy-does-it-without-being-a-slug recuperation.

AND I found out that I’m not going to be able to lift anything heavy for another three to six months. WTH??? Are you kidding? That’s what I do BEST. I’m freakishly strong. Poo.

However, she did give me the okay to attend yoga and walk --- which is great. I can’t go back to Taekwondo quite yet so SOME sort of exercise is wonderful. And Thomas really needs to get back for his stress level rises each time he doesn’t go.

Felix finally got her glasses. Luckily she’s not as blind as me (20/800 vision, clinically blind – lovely) but does need them to see the board in class. felix glassesShe has a much wider choice of frames than I did and her lenses aren’t two inches thick. Lucky girl. Try being eight, with two-inch lenses and cat-eye shaped frames. Not cool. And the yarn bow didn’t help at all. Really Mom? You thought this looked good??

She also attended her first Homecoming Dance with her friends. No, she wasn’t asked and even if she was, she knows that’s not going to happen while she’s 14. There are some things that make sense and that’s one of them (besides no nose or eyebrow piercings). She and Leah had a great time and she had  on a terrific dress she found at a consignment store. That’s my girl!

Yeah, she’s gorgeous. And I will say it all day long.

 

October …. and Halloween is coming up soon. The big dilemma ---- WHAT to be??

Try to remember, the parties of September

Yikes. I am SOOOO behind. Whatever.

So in our family, we have several birthdays plus other fun things in the month of September. We’ll start at the beginning and work through to the end; it’s easier that way.

Right smack dab at the start of the month, is Robee’s birthday. Had the doc had her way, he would have been born later or born dead – or both. I forced the issue to start me as soon as she got back from vacation. I really wanted to have him in August but … well this is what we got. He was two weeks early, 10 lbs, 9 oz and grey as paint. I truly believe that had I not threatened the doc, he would not be alive today.

Happy 12th Birthday!

IMG01361-20110902-2013

Two days after that, Jen has a birthday. Sometimes we combine celebrations, sometimes we don’t. It depends on time and days and what’s going on.

IMG01383-20110904-1935 (32)

Two days after THAT, Thomas and I have our anniversary. This year, we celebrated 15 years. I don’t know that we actually DID anything special. School started the next day, work also was the next day, it was on a Tuesday which is right in the middle of the week. So many things, so little time. I think we sort of celebrated by going to Cle Elum at the end of September for a judges conference – which when you think about it, isn’t really very romantical – but that’s about it. However, I still think that celebrating during the year as a surprise is more important than trying to fit it into one day.

Scoot ahead to almost the first day of Autumn and we have Greg’s birthday. Greg got a great present (actually on Jen’s birthday) from Jen which gave him the opportunity to play baseball in Qwest Field in Seattle. Apparently, for a person who really loves (REALLY really loves) baseball, this is a big deal. He was quite thrilled.

IMG01378-20110904-1314 He’s down there on the field  ---  somewhere.

Then four days after his birthday, mine comes winding around. During that time, we had the conference, Greg got pneumonia, Jen was due at any minute, Owen got strep throat and I was preparing for my surgery. Getting together for dinner was not working out. Then I found out that Emilee and Lori were coming in to see Jen’s baby, so we decided to put off our celebration dinner until the first week of October.

Three days later, while we were in Cle Elum at the conference, Jen’s baby FINALLY decided to join us. Autumn Emilee Leigh. _MG_1223

September is a bissy, bissy month.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Healing nicely

It pays to be healthy. It pays to exercise. It pays to eat right and do the right things. I never realized this until now.

The nurses after asking me several health history questions, said that I was the healthiest person that they’ve seen in a long time. I don’t have to take any medications; I don’t drink or smoke (yeah, yeah – anyMORE I don’t). I keep fairly active (I’m really lazy so this one is hard) and I take vitamins – true, when I think about it but at least I do. I don’t have high blood pressure, diabetes, high cholesterol, liver problems, kidney issues …. and on and on and on. All these ailments that they were listing, I kept saying “no” to.

Thomas and I started taking yoga in July. I knew that I wanted to strengthen myself in another way besides our Taekwondo and this was something we’ve always wanted to do together. The girls were teaching yoga classes for a couple of years but the times never worked out for us. Early mornings work the best and we finally found a place to go.

I fully believe that taking that class has helped with my recovery. Here’s what I’m supposed to take:

surgery meds

And I haven’t. I haven’t had any pain since I left the hospital. None.

What I have taken is GasEx because, yeah … full of gas. Even worse though, is that I’m full of air. They pump up the body cavity with air to separate the organs and then the body just has to absorb it as time goes by. THAT is painful. If I could have a pin to pop me, I would have.

This is what I got:

surgery card   Get Well Cards!!surgery card 3surgery card 2

 

surgery vaccum

 

 

 

Since I can’t vacuum for five weeks! This is my birthday present from the big kids!!

 

 

surgery work My job: account input for the office. This is my new workspace. I have Lappy (the Toughbook laptop), my tea cup, phone, pillows, remote, and chocolate truffles within arms reach. Life is good!!

Since I have to be down for the next week, Thomas has put me to work doing some accounting for the office. He is so behind and why not? I literally cannot do anything for the first two weeks.

I’m not supposed to drive because I’m supposed to be on the pain meds (oh right – like half of Arlington ISN’T driving while taking drugs. Pul-eeze) but since I’m not on pain pills, I can get the kids to and from their school stuff. I have to; they’re live goes on and I have no choice. But as far as anything else, done.

According to my doc, the first two weeks is the most critical for healing. This is so hard. I’m always doing something because there is always something to do around here. However, to keep me as healthy as I want to stay, I am directing myself to take it easy.

There are some benefits to this whole taking-it-easy. First of all, the really lazy person in me is sighing in contentment. Second, the thought of being in the hospital for longer than one night is horrifyingly awful. My doc said that if I don’t stay down and take care of myself and undo everything she’s done, she’ll put me in for a week. Yikes. Stab me now. No way.

Third, my kids are helping out wonderfully. They were so worried about me and what might happen. They’re carrying in my bags and opening doors and lifting and helping and doing so many things. Robee taught me how to hold in my sneeze to stop it so it wouldn’t hurt my stomach (hold the top of the nose and say “watermelon” over and over – it works!!). Felix is cooking food and bringing me drinks and socks to warm my feet. I love my kids.

Fourth, I get to wear yoga pants all day! I have four small incisions on my abdomen that form a diamond and there is no way I can wear anything that’s going to press on them. That’s from the laparoscopy. Seatbelts kill. I keep threatening to show the kids my scar … just to make them scream. Heh heh.

My post op appointment is scheduled for next Monday and then she will say yea or nay for me starting back on easy exercise. If she says yes, then I can start back at yoga, just doing easy breathing and possibly small moves. I can also start watching the kids again that Thursday and then go back to two days a week. I just can’t lift them anywhere so thankfully, Ivy is strong enough to climb into her car seat …. which Thomas will have to carry to the truck for me. Ha! Slaves are fun.

Which is why I have the time to sit here and blog my experience with my first and hopefully LAST surgery!

Thank you to those of you who called and wished me luck and those that helped with my kids and those that helped out anywhere.

Here I go on my next adventure …. WITHOUT my uterus. So long sucker! It’s been nice but you have outlived your usefulness and I’m ready to be free! When I feel better, I’ll do my “I Don’t Have My Uterus” dance that I tried to do for Felix the other night.

Pre and Post Op

Arriving at the hospital at 0’Dark Hundred and rain. I checked in at 6 AM and then sent Thomas on his way.

I did this for two reasons: first, because I knew that Robee needed to leave for school at 6:35 and then Felix was going to be taken to school at 7:20, so he would need to be at home. Second, because as I have mentioned, Thomas worries. I could see his skin was grey and he was nervous. I would prefer him not to be there while they’re prepping me for surgery. What would be the point? I’m going to be asleep soon and I wouldn’t know if he were there or not. As much as I love him, he doesn’t help me to calm down because he’s too nervous. I would prefer to see him after everything is done.

As the nurse and aesthetician are taking my vitals and asking the same questions (my name, birthday, and what I’m going to have done while here), I’m thinking nothing. Actually, I’m calmer now than I was last week. I was freaking out last week. But now that I’m laying on the table in a purple surgical gown with a mushroom covering my hair, I feel good.

They keep asking me if I’m allergic to anything: meds, foods, etc. They ask if I’ve ever had adverse affects to anesthesia and I’ve only been under once when I had that lung biopsy in St. George. When I came out of that, I felt fine. I’ve heard some people get really sick but I’ve been lucky. Then Dr. Hoffman comes is and does the same questioning that I just had from three other people. They start to wheel me into another room and she says, “I’ll see you in there but you won’t remember it.”

I can feel the medication start to work and the last thing I remember (I think) is me looking at my hands and telling the nurse, “No, I don’t get my nails done at a salon,” and then …………..

“Kristi. Kristi. Are you awake?”

I’m blinking in the light and someone is talking to me. A guy. Asking me how I’m feeling and what day I thought it was. I believe I answered correctly because he said that was a good answer. I did mention that I hurt right here and I pointed to my stomach and he said he would fix that.

I have to prove that I’m fully awake and I tell them my full name and birthday and my age. I’m now being wheeled to my room and I’m looking for my glasses because everything is blurry. I realized later than I had them on; it was blurry because I was under anesthesia.

The pain I was feeling is gone now and I can hear my nurse and another person talking to me about my surgery. That it went well and I came through great. I hear them talking to me about my uterus and what the pictures show.

While I’m crawling out of my fog, I ask the nurse if I can take my uterus home and bury it in my backyard with the my other animals.

After a few minutes of muffled giggles, he says, “Uh no. It goes to pathology for tests and they’ll take care of it for you.” Drugs are fun.

I find out that Thomas had come back after the surgery to check on me while I’m sleeping it off.

I finally fully wake up around noon or one. I have an IV in one arm, a BP cuff on the other, a catheter tube, and a oxygen clip in my nose. Way to wake up.

I spend most of the day dozing off and on and I feel really good. There is a slight cramping feeling (she did take it out, right?) in my abdomen but aside from that, hardly any pain at all. I am on something through the IV but only when I ask for it.

What I am, however, is STARVING. I haven’t eaten food since Sunday (all liquids on Monday) and I’m empty. I first get to munch on ice. And then Surprise! My lunch is … clear liquids. Yeah. Whoo hoo. However, Dr. Hoffman says if I keep improving as much as I am, I get to eat real food tomorrow. Finally.

Thomas brings the kids to visit when he finally gets out of the office because for some reason, he was scheduled with clients. Grrrrr. So they finally come trooping in at 7, fairly reluctantly. The kids are not ready to see me, their Mom, in a hospital bed. The most ill they’ve ever seen me is when I had bronchitis and they had the flu. For most of their lives, I’ve been pretty healthy (except for that iodine poisoning that I had but they were too little to remember). So this is a new experience for them.

However, I’VE been in and out of a hospital since 1976 when my mom first got sick. I’m so used to hospitals, that this seems perfectly normal to me.

In fact, I had the weirdest experience while I was laying in the bed. I was reaching for my cup of ice with my IV arm and my vision sort of wavered and then I saw Mom’s arm reaching for the cup instead, just as I used to when I would visit her when she was recovering from whatever ailment she had at that moment. I blinked my eyes and then it was my arm again. It was a weird moment. I’m not sure what it meant.

Back to the kids ….

Robee was happy to see me but Felix was having a hard time. I’m not sure why but she really did not want to be there. I sort of wish I hadn’t asked them to visit me now. There wasn’t a need for it; I was fine and would be home the next day. I don’t think I looked that bad; a little swollen from the IV.post op kristi

I’ve looked a LOT worse than this, trust me.

Catch up continued …….

And on to October.

Since May and June when my hair started falling out, I had been considering having a hysterectomy, the old woman scoop out. Actually, since I had Robee, I’ve been advised to do this.

But with the iron loss because of massive bleeding during my periods, it was time.

This was a very scary, very personal decision. There were horror stories from both camps; for and against. I didn’t know who to talk to since Mom is gone now and I didn’t have a lot of friends who had had one that I could ask (actually I don’t have a lot of friends period here in Washington, so it was even harder).

If you go to the O Holy Internet, you can be sitting at your computer until next week reading every post, news article and personal blog regarding this subject.

Just try, TRY talking to a guy about it (ie, Spouses). Men get so squeamish when it comes to women’s health issues. I’d love to know why. I can say “Testicular Cancer” until the cows come home, but to have a man utter CLEARLY the words “uterus,” “ovary,” “vagina,” or “cervix”  - well, they become completely tongue-tied. Unless it’s associated with sex and even then, it’s slang.

Thomas is squeamish about it because it’s a health issue; he dislikes any sort of illness or ailment. Brooke was the same way but it was because he didn’t like to be inconvenienced in any way – unless he could call in sick at the same time when I had the flu. That used to bug me so bad when we worked together. Ugh. Sorry. Moving on …..

Thomas hates it because he worries about everybody all the time. Ben and his stomach. Jen and the baby when she was pregnant … just to name a few. He worries constantly about each and every one of the kids. You should have seen him during the Maxito tumor episode. I thought he was going to implode.

So talking to him about THIS, about me going in and having a major organ cut out of my body while under general anesthesia … forget it. 

I finally made an appointment with an actual OBGYN that was recommended to me by a friend and bravely went in to discuss a solution.

Dr. Hoffman is a no-nonsense doctor, very little bedside manner who says it like it is. Love her to pieces. I don’t want coddling; I want someone who will tell me the truth and be as blunt as possible. The only thing I didn’t like – but I understand why she has to do it – is that she wasn’t too happy about my decision to leave in my ovaries. But there is no possible way I’m going to try to recuperate AND slam into Menopause at the same time. I’m nuts enough as it is; I don’t need that too.

Taking out your uterus is a weird thought. Here is this organ that has provided me with two kids. I’m lucky to have a functioning one and I’m happy to have my babies. But I’m done with it. Quoting a friend who said “When their service is up, they should just shrink away.” Yep. When I was 40 and my GYN suggested I take it out then, I was really hesitant. I felt like I was betraying myself or that I wouldn’t be considered “female” anymore. Such conflict we women put on ourselves.

Fast forward to now.

Surgery was scheduled for the end of September but then the conference came up and I really wanted to feel good to go so I put it off until October 4th. Schedules had to be rearranged, rides provided and supplies increased for the kids and animals. I wasn’t going to be able to do anything for the first two weeks. Nothing. No driving, No bending. No lifting. No stairs. No stretching. No major walking. Think slug. Dead slug.

I talked to the kids about what was going to happen. Felix, being female and having gone through those silly maturation classes at school, understood better than Robee.

My first response to his “why are you having surgery Mom?” was to tell him that I was going to have the doctors make me another anus so that I could crap twice as much as other humans. I thought that was a great answer but … I have always made it a point to be as honest as possible when the kids ask me questions.

So then I told him that my uterus, which was an organ in my body that holds the baby before it’s born, was going to be taken out. Not surprisingly, he liked the first answer WAY better.

All week and weekend, I did chores in the barn and yard and house, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to do much for almost 6 weeks. Extra bird feed loaded, stalls mucked and laid out with shavings for the goats, cleaning some garden boxes, shoveling dirt to fill in holes from Clyde …. all the things I could think of before leaving.

Monday before the surgery was Bowel Prep day and just by those words, one can imagine what that means. It means ingesting awful stuff so that the intestines can clean themselves of everything bit of whatever is in them. I spent about every 10 minutes in the bathroom. Special. Luckily I only had Evan to watch, which made it much easier.

I had to be at the hospital at 5:30 am. I got up at 4 (like I really slept at all that night), showered, packed and mentally prepared myself. I kissed my babies goodbye, loaded up the car and Thomas and I took off for Cascade Valley Hospital in Arlington.

Playing Catch up

I’m way behind. It’s now the second week of October. It was a busy end of September/beginning of October.

Birthdays were celebrated, babies were born, kids got involved in extra curricular events, and organs were removed.

First: Birthdays. Greg and I have birthdays within a week of each other. His the 22nd of September, mine the 26th. So in the family tradition of going out to eat for one’s birthday – we didn’t. Greg happily acquired pneumonia during his birthday weekend and Thomas and I left for a three-day Judges conference right after mine. And my birthday was on a Monday. Really tough to gather people together. So we postponed our combined dinners until October.

The older I get, the less I’m worried about celebrating my birthday or having a “special” day. I mean, it’s nice to hear from people wishing you a Happy Birthday; you know you’re still loved and wanted. But as far as being treated differently, I think its kind of dumb. In my family growing up, you pretty much did the same stuff on your birthday as you would any other day. No one treated you special. We would have a family party, never a friend one. I have never had a friend party for my birthday. None of us did. Isn’t that weird? It seems so normal to have a friend party for kids and yet, we were never allowed to have one. Too much mess for OCD Lucy.

However, I did get some lovely, lovely flowers from Thomas and cupcakes from the girls. That made it a special day for me.flower birthdayballoon birthday 

Moving on ….

Our other birthday to celebrate was a new one. Jen finally (finally!) had her little girl on the 29th of September.

_MG_1223

I was hoping she could have her on my birthday and take over my day so I could bask in her celebration. But some people don’t like to share birthdays and maybe she would hate it later. Actually, I’ve hated my birthday anyway because it’s in September and I really hate September because the first day of Autumn is in September and this is my LEAST favorite season next to Winter. The only good thing about this season is that Halloween is coming up and after that, there are only five more months until Spring. 

Moving on ….

The day after my birthday, Thomas and I went to a place called Suncadia in Cle Elum Washington to attend a Judges Conference. He spoke, I relaxed. Sometimes its good to be the spouse. I left Felix with Leah so she could get to school and Robee with Reilly for the same reason. Kelly came to watch the animal farm and keep the house looking occupied.

Map picture

Cle Eum is about two hours from our house and is located in a high mountain area. It reminded me so much of Flaming Gorge. Big Pines and the mountain breezes I remember from when we used to camp up there. I was able to rent a bike and go for wonderful two hour ride. Then, as I was on a fairly deserted road, my bike chain fell off and I was stranded. And my cell phone didn’t work. And did I mention I was on a deserted road? Yeah. My mind started freaking out, thinking of everything awful that could possibly happen. Luckily, in my wise new 49 year old brain, I shook those thoughts out, fixed the bike and calmly pedaled back to the lodge. No harm done. suncadia trees

Then I changed (after taking a rest and eating a bagel) for a swim in the heated pool and soak in the hot tub. I brought a book and just sat and read. I haven’t done that in …. I don’t know how long.suncadia pool

 

 

 

 

 

suncadia grave

Moving on …..

Both kids are really involved in extra school stuff this year. Sometime this summer, Robee suddenly decided he really liked the drums. He’s been in the band playing snare drums but he wanted to try his hand at a drum set. I found this kid at the Arlington 4th of July party (I say kid; he’s about 20) who was willing to do lessons and yard work for a really great price. We found a drum set on craigslist and away he went. He loves it. So now he plays both the guitar and the drums. He auditioned for the drummer position in Keynotes (the singing group that Felix was in last year) as well as the Jazz Band – and he made both. Good and bad. Good because … well that’s obvious. Bad because he now has to be at school, every morning at 7 am. Which means he never rides the morning bus. Which means someone has to take him every morning to school. Which is me. Normally. There goes our 7 am yoga class. Oh well.

Felix auditioned for a part a school play and she got the understudy, which is amazing for a freshman. The ironic part?  - besides the fact that she loves being on stage as much as I do – the play she is doing is “Rehearsal for Murder,” which is a show I did at Heritage Community Theater around 1992 or so. It’s a Who-Done-It type of play, where its a play with-in a play. Her character is Bella, who is the producer. The really cool thing is that there is a show just for the understudies prior to the run. She will get to shine for that show and she’s also an extra in the regular show. She is just now realizing the amount of time one puts into being in a show. And she hasn’t even hit Hell Week yet. I’ve been asked to help with make-up and costumes. Ha! I’m so psyched for her! She is going to have so much fun.

Moving on ….. October is another post.